How do u join two polygons?? help needed PLEASE!!! :(

[unreal1]

Hiya i've been growing crazy trying to fit a skirt mesh onto a female (for my xna project) so that they are influenced by the bones but it seems the only two choices to join polygons are MERGE and BLEND but when i use any of those it makes my whole model sort of like chocolate!! it loses textures and everything. is there anyway to join them two together WITHOUT affecting the textures/quality?? or even be able to minimise it?
id appreciate the much needed help thanks so much in advance!!!!!!

[grahamef]

Merge and Blend create a new object. By default, it doesn't have any of the properties and attributes of the originals. Click the Merge button under Materials, UVs, etc. to transfer them over.

[unreal1]

Merge and Blend create a new object. By default, it doesn't have any of the properties and attributes of the originals. Click the Merge button under Materials, UVs, etc. to transfer them over.

THANKS!! .....